Berina Yiktzoru · Aharei Mot - Kedoshim

A word from the editor

This week we read two Parashas, Aharei Mot and Kedoshim.

In Parashat Kedoshim, it is written (19, 17), "Do not hate your brother in your heart, you shall surely rebuke your fellow, but you shall not bear a sin on his account".

Many people ask what is the proper way for one to rebuke his fellow man and who is worthy of being rebuked? We also have to understand what our sages say about rebuking as they say you should give rebuke to another person even if you have to give them the same rebuke 100 times. If the person did not listen the first time, certainly he will not listen even the 100th time.

Rebbi Hillel of Kalmia Zt'l explains that the intent of end of the verse "do not bear a sin" is that if you gave rebuke and your friend did not listen, it is your fault that he did not accept the rebuke. If you have enough fear of heaven, surely your friend would have accepted the rebuke as our sages say "Whoever has fear of heaven, his words are heard". If you give rebuke and you see that it is not accepted, you need to realize that it is your fault and you need to repent right away. Once you repent, you now have gone up a step in your fear of heaven, and therefore the other person might accept your rebuke now. If they do not, you need to repent again and go back and rebuke, even if you have to repeat this process 100 times.

The 'Pri Megadim' asks a question on the words:

"הוכח תוכיח את עמיתך" – The word את (the) seems extra and why is their a double wording for rebuking? He explains that it is not right for a person to get angry at people who do the wrong thing. The exact opposite, they need to rebuke with humility, slowly, slowly until the other person repents from his wrongdoings. If he gets upset at the other person, the other person will not listen and distance himself from him. When he gives rebuke, he should include himself in the rebuke and say (Kohelet 7, 20) "For there is no righteous man on earth who does good and sins not". Therefore, we need to search our deeds and repent, and in this way our words will be accepted by our friend. This will not be the case if he removes himself from the group and says, "Whoever sinned needs to repent"! Then everyone will say, "Who are you to give rebuke"?! And it is written (Tzefania 2, 1) "Gather yourself together! Yea, gather together". Gather yourself first and then gather others together. This is the explanation for the double wording of rebuke as well. First rebuke yourself and then rebuke your friend and when you rebuke your friend include yourself in the rebuke. This is why there is the extra word of את which is explained in Masechet Pesachim 22 as "with". The verse ends with "Do not bear a sin" – do not leave the burden on your friend alone" by saying "You sinned;" rather, include yourself with them just like the prophet Hoshea who included himself with the Jewish nation and said (Hoshea 6, 1), "Come and let us return to Hashem" and not "Go return to Hashem".

The Noam Elimelech Zt'l says that the holy Torah teaches us how to rebuke our friends. When a person wants to give rebuke, he has to be holy and pure in all aspects. He has to be pure in soul and Body in order that his rebuke be accepted by his friend. However, a truly righteous person, one should not rebuke, but if you do rebuke such a person because he asks you to, you should do it only for the sake of Heaven. In the merit of the Mitzvah of rebuking another, we should merit that Hashem blesses his nation with peacecreation shows us Hashem's order in creating the world.

Aharei Mot-A summary of the points in the Parashah

1. After the deaths of Nadav and Avihu (the sons of Aharon HaCohen), Hashem warns about the prohibition of entering the Beit HaMikdash and the holy of holies when it is not the time of service.

2. The service of the Cohen Gadol on Yom Kippur (when he enters the holy of holies four times – the blood of the ox and the goat, the frankincense, and taking out the ashes).

3. The laws of Yom Kippur- fasting, forbidden to do work, and atonement.

4. The punishment of Karet for one who slaughters animals or who brings holy meat out of the Beit HaMikdash.

5. The Mitzvah of the Jewish nation being holy:

A. Not following in the ways of the other nations.

B. The prohibition of marrying certain family members.

3. The prohibition of giving a child over to the Molech (idolatry) and the prohibition of causing a desecration of the name of Hashem.

Kedoshim – A summary of the points in the Parashah

1. The Mitzvot of Hashem: To behave with holiness. Fear of mother and father. Keeping Shabbat. Prohibition of delving into matters of idolatry (like reading books on idolatry). Regarding sacrifices, prohibition of Pigul - eating rejected sacrificial meat because of improper thoughts during the sacrifice and leaving over (meat left over after the time of eating has finished). Gifts to the poor in the fields and orchards: Leaving the corners of the fields for the poor and leaving pieces of the harvest that fall out of ones hand when collecting the harvest for the poor. Prohibition of stealing and lying. Prohibition of false swears and desecrating the name of Hashem. Prohibition of not paying a worker right away. Prohibition of cursing a Jew. Prohibition of giving bad advice to another in order to make them stumble or sin. The obligation to judge righteously and to judge others favorably. Prohibition of Lashon Hara (speaking badly about others). "Do not stand on the blood of your friend". Prohibition of hating other Jews. The obligation to rebuke a friend who has sinned. The prohibition of taking revenge or bearing a grudge. "Love your friend as yourself". The prohibition of mixtures: With animals, with fruit trees, with clothes (mixing linen and wool). The sacrificial offering brought for one who sins with a Canaanite slave (illicit relations). The laws of Orlah: When you plant a fruit tree, you cannot use its fruit for three years, and in the fourth year, you take the fruit to Yerushalayim (In the time where there is a Beit HaMikdash) and you eat it there. "You shall not eat over the blood" (not eating from an animal until its soul has completely departed). The prohibition of looking into the future – be complete with Hashem. The prohibition of shaving off sideburn and shaving your beard with a razor. Prohibition of scratching your body (because of mourning) and tattoos. The obligation to keep guard our holiness and Shabbat. Behaving with holiness in the Beit HaMikdash and in the Beit HaKnesset. Prohibition to go to psychics. The obligation to honor Torah scholars. The prohibition of causing anguish to a convert and the Mitzvah to love a convert. Prohibition of deceiving others with weights and scales and the Mitzvah to have scales that measure properly when selling items.

2. The punishment for sins: A. The punishment for one who gives his child to the Molech (an idol), punishment for cursing one's parents. B. Punishment for illicit relations (the details are in Parashat Aharei) (20, 8-22).

C. The punishment for being a sorcerer, being stoned.

3. Praise of the Jews who stay holy in all their deeds and with this they merit to have Eretz Yisrael – a land of milk and honey.

"After two sons of Aharon died..." (17, 1)

In the Midrash, a few explanations are given as to why the sons of Aharon died. One of them is that they were not married as it is written "And sons they did not have". Another says that they entered the Mishkan after they had drank wine as the matter of them dying is written by the Parashah where it says "Do not drink wine or alcohol". Another says that they taught a law in front of Mosheh, their Rabbi.

All of the words of our sages are one. What does this mean? No person can fathom with his mind how much we need to honor and fear our parents and Rabbi and how much more so Hashem. However, one who is married realizes how much he needs his wife and children to honor him and respect him and he knows how painful it is if his children do not respect him or they, heaven forbid, despise him. Only then will he learn how to really respect his parents and teachers. Therefore, if Nadav and Avihu would have been married and had children, then they would Have known how much respect an honor they needed to give to Mosheh Rabeinu and how much more so to Hashem and then they would not have entered the Mikdash in a drunken state and they also would not have taught a law in front of their teacher, Mosheh Rabeinu. (Torat Mosheh by the Chatam Sofer)

"And Hashem spoke to Mosheh after the two sons of Aharon died, when they drew near before Hashem and died" (16, 1)

It seems that the word "And they died" is extra as it already says in the beginning of the verse that the sons of Aharon died. Rebbi Haim Palagi Zt'l says that when we delve into the words of our sages about the death of Aharon's sons, it becomes perplexing. On the one hand, our sages say that Aharon's sons died because of entering the Mikdash when being drunk, but on the other hand, we see from another verse (Devarim 9, 20) "And with Aharon, Hashem became very angry and wanted to destroy him", that Rashi explains here that Hashem wanted to punish Aharon by taking away all his sons as he sinned with the golden calf. Mosheh Rabeinu, however, prayed for him and only two of his sons died. So why did Aharon's sons die; was it because of the sin of the golden calf or was it because they entered the Mikdash when they were drunk? The answer is that it was truly decreed that Aharon's four sons would die because of the sin of the golden calf, but because of Mosheh Rabeinu's prayer, Hashem was appeased and only two sons died. Which two would die? This was decided by Nadav and Avihu's behavior of becoming drunk and entering the Mikdash. Now we understand the verse very well. "After the two sons of Aharon died" – in any case, two sons had to die because of the sin of the golden calf, but why these particular two? The verse continues and explains "When they drew near before Hashem and died." (Le'Or HaNer)

"With this Aharon shall enter the Holy; with a young bull for a sin offering and a ram for a burnt offering" (16, 3)

A young bull is alluding to Avraham Avinu and a ram for a burnt offering is alluding to Yitzhak and a goat is alluding to Yaakov. Then what alludes to our matriarchs? It says "They shall be of equal weight (Vayikra Rabba 21, 11) How do we know that also in the merit of the matriarchs? As it says, "He should wear holy linen shirt...and linen pants...and a linen sash...and a linen cap – these refer to the four matriarchs (Pesikta). If you take the first letter of each piece of the Cohanim's clothing – אבנט מצנפת כתונת מכנסים (sash, cap, shirt, pants), you get the word אמכם – your mothers. (Rebbi Shimshon from Astropoli Zt'l)

The holy days of Sefirat HaOmer

We are now during the holy and special days between Pesach and Shavuot – the days of Sefirat Haomer. Every period in time has a specific energy that enables us to grow spiritually in specific areas more easily. It is important to understand what is special about these days of the Omer so that we can put forth the proper effort in working on ourselves and tap into the spiritual light that is available during these days.

The Ramban in his explanation on Parashat Emor (Vayikra 23, 36) explains why the holiday of Shavuot is called Atzeret. Atzeret comes from the words "I stopped you before me". This is like a king who invited his children to a meal for a certain amount of days. When it came time for his children to leave, he said, "Please, stay with me another day as separating from you is very difficult for me". Pesach is seven days; you have the first and seventh day which is chag and five days of Hol HaMoed in between. On the second night of Pesach, we start counting for seven weeks, which is 49 days, until we reach the holiday of Shavuot. The holiday of Pesach is like the first day of Chag; the 49 days we count is like Hol HaMoed and Shavuot is the eighth day of the holiday. So according to the Ramban, the 49 days have the holiness of Hol HaMoed.

Another explanation of Atzeret is gathering. The holiday of Shavuot is a completion of gathering up all the work and effort we put in on Pesach all the way through the 49 days of Omer.

The Ramban explains that the 49 days of the Omer are like Hol HaMoed and they are a continuation of the holiday of Pesach.

Shavuot seals these days like the eighth day of Chag seals the Chag of Pesach and therefore the days of Sefirat HaOmer you have the happiness of Chag within it.

The holy Shelah says that on Shavuot we are judged on our Torah learning and therefore the meaning and outcome of this day is very severe.

On Shavuot, the amount and quality of Torah learning we will have during the next year is determined. The quality and amount of learning is influenced by outside factors: Livelihood, family, health. One's ability to learn is influenced greatly by how much peace of mind he has and how much he is willing to sacrifice in order to sit and earn. According to this then, on Shavuot, we are judged on all aspects of spiritual life.

Since the judgment on this day is influenced by how badly a person desires to learn Torah, people stay up all night to learn. By learning Torah all night, we are making a statement to Hashem that we have a great desire to receive the Torah. We have the power on this night to make our judgment come out meritorious. At Har Sinai, Bnei Yisrael said "We will do and we will hear" and then they merited to get crowned by hundreds of thousands of angels. We see here how great it is when Bnei Yisrael accepts the yolk of Torah and the yolk of the kingship of Heaven upon themselves. On Shavuot, we have an opening to accept the Torah from new and to accept the yolk of Torah upon ourselves from love. According to this we can explain the Gemara in Yerushalmi: Rav Mesharshiya in the name of Rav Idi: With the all the sacrifices, it is written sin and with Atzeret, sin is not written. Hashem said to them, since you Accepted on yourself the yolk of Torah, I count it as if you never sinned in your lives. After this long journey of the days of the Omer, we come to the culmination which is receiving the Torah from anew. When we receive the Torah on Shavuot, it has the power to bring a person to such purity as if he never sinned in his lifetime.

After all these explanations about the greatness of the Shavuot holiday and about the importance of working on ourselves each of the 49 days until we get to the holiday, one can feel despair that he did not adequately prepare himself for receiving the Torah on Shavout. The Maggid of Koznitz Zt'l says on the verse, "After the seventh Shabbat, you should count 50 days," that even if a Jew did not wake up in the first days of the Omer, he still has time until the last minute to awaken himself to accept the Torah with love. May it be His will that we learn the Torah while having fixed our character traits and through the will of wanting to do the will of our Creator, Amen.

"You shall be holy, for I, Hashem, your G-d am holy" (19, 2)

What is the meaning of the Mitzvah "Be holy"? According to the Ramban, after the Torah prohibited certain foods and illicit relations and allowed other pleasures, we are given the Mitzvah of adding holiness so that a person does not become immersed in the pleasures of this world to the point of becoming "disgusting with the permission of the Torah". A person should take care that his body and soul be clean and not eat gluttonously and he should stay away from speech that is not good and he should fulfill the Mitzvah of "Make yourself holy with what is permitted to you".

We are commanded to eat. We should not deprive our body the food it needs. We should eat what we need on time to keep our bodies healthy. We should place small amounts in our mouth, chew it properly and not eat in a rush.

We should not speak about physical things that our heart desires to speak about. And our eyes, we should guard. We should get ourselves used to not looking in all directions and just looking in front of ourselves. Afterwards, try looking only at the two feet in front of you. Also with hearing, we do not need to hear everything. Then there is the power of thinking. The brain is a very powerful vessel. We need to make the mind busy with holy and pure thoughts. One needs to learn Mishnayot by heart so that he can review them in his mind or to learn Tehillim by heart that he can say as he is on his way from place to place. The Maggid of Dubno says that in the Midrash (Tanchuma 2) it brings down that Hashem says to Bnei Yisrael, "Since you made yourselves holy for My sake before I created the world, be holy just as I am holy".

The words of the Midrash can be understood through a parable. There was a rich man who lived in a small city and he had an only daughter. He decided that he is going to go and look for a groom who is outstanding in his Torah learning for his daughter. He arrived at a distant Yeshivah and he has asked the head of the Yeshivah to choose for him a groom who sits and learns diligently and has fear of Heaven. The rich person said that he would pay all the expenses. The head of the Yeshivah told him that there is one boy who stands out from all the other boys in the Yeshivah as he has a pure mind and learns very diligently. The groom met with his daughter and after a short while they got married. A few months after the wedding, the father-in-law sees that his son-in-law is only learning a few hours a day and is being lazy with his learning. He called over his son-in-law and rebuked him for this. His son-in- law turned to him and said, "Go ask the one who takes care of the Shul and ask him if anyone from the city opens a book even once a month to learn. I on the other hand learn every day and even if I do not learn for the rest of my life and forget a little bit of my learning, I still will know more Torah than anyone in this city".

His father-in-law answered him and said, "Know that I did not chose you as a husband for my daughter in order for you to be the best learner in this city. However, remember that I took you from the Yeshivah as you were the best out of everyone in the Yeshivah and therefore you need to be greater than those in the Yeshivah and not greater than everyone in this city who are just ordinary people".

The moral of the story is that this is the same with us. Hashem has a complaint against us as we want to find favor in His eyes by comparing ourselves to those who are less than us and about this Hashem says to us, "This is not the way it is as you were made holy for My sake before I created the world", meaning before there were people lower than you, you were made holy for My sake and if so, "Be holy as I am holy" without comparing yourself to others....

"Behold you are consecrated unto me in accordance with the law of Mosheh and Israel"- A story for Shabat

Shuki and Tzvika Greenfield are two brothers who grew up in the Holon neighborhood in Israel and already from a young age they dreamed about the millions of dollars awaiting them in the United States. Their father kept Shabbat and was a simple honest man who tried to convince his sons to stay in Israel, but after the boys finished serving in the army and after they unsuccessfully tried their hand at business, they decided that they were going to travel to the United States and nothing was going to get in the way of their plans. They landed in New York and they were determined to show their father that they were going to succeed in a big way. From a young age, the boys were drawn to zionism and little by little they stopped keeping Shabbat and Mitzvot. Their father was not able to do anything about this. America did not roll out the carpets for them and the two brothers had to wander from place to place in order to make a little money for their expenses.

They washed dishes in restaurants and made connections with the non-Jewish workers. They began to dine with them and in the end they married non-Jewish wives. Every dollar they made gave them hope to continue onwards.

Their parents, on the other hand, were busy praying for them from the bottom of their hearts. They prayed that their sons would return to their Judaism and return to Israel. The years went by and the brothers would call their parents from time to time just to say, "We feel good and we are making good money. Everything is okay". This went on for five years and the parents were heartbroken. They missed their sons very much.

The mother, who became sick, finally told her husband, "Go to America and buy a few gifts and see how the boys are really doing". Mr. Greenfield agreed to her request and decided to travel to New York. He wandered the streets looking for a shul to pray Minha. He noticed on the street corner a small shul, Shaarei Rahamim, so he entered. He saw many Israelis there. After they finished the prayers, he went over to one of the people and asked, "Do you by any chance know the brothers Shuki and Tzvika Greenfield"? The man smiled and replied, "Of course. They are my good friends". They walked together to Shuki's house, who was his firstborn.

He knocked on the door and waited for an answer. The door was opened by a young lady who was wearing a silver necklace and on it was a cross and even her face testified to the fact that she was not Jewish. His son was sitting on the couch watching television. "This is your wife"? he asked his son. "Yes, Abba", the shocked son asked. The father was totally shocked. He turned around and left. He decided to go to Tzvika's house.

The scene repeated itself. His second son had also married a non Jewish woman. Mr. Greenfield did not wait for his son to return from work. He asked his son's wife to give over a message to his son, "Tell him that Abba came to visit..."

After being in New York for only 24 hours, Mr. Greenfield got on the first plane out and returned to Israel very hurt and broken all the while mumbling to himself, "I am a bereaved father. I am a bereaved father". The two brothers were shaken up by their father's surprise visit. They were very careful not to tell their parents about their marriage, but in the end they were found out. The brothers were broken. What are they going to do now? Their friend who accompanied their father to their houses told the boys to meet a Rabbi. "Go get advice from the Rabbi. He will tell you how to get out of this situation".

The met with Rabbi Shemaryah Gross, a young, smart Rabbi. After the Rabbi heard their story, he told them, "There is no way to compromise here. You need to leave your non-Jewish wives! This is a very severe prohibition and every moment that you are with them is a sin". The brothers trembled. They were so used to the situation of living sinfully. Shuki was the first to react. Two days after the meeting with Rabbi Gross, he packed his bags, left his wife, kissed his brother goodbye and flew to Israel. Pangs of conscience started to eat away at him and he decided to go to Yeshivah and completely repent. Six months later, he married a Jewish girl who had also gone through the process of repenting. Mrs. Greenfield was ecstatic, at least one son had been saved.

Tzvika, on the other hand, had a very hard time as he was very attached to his wife and his sinful ways. Rabbi Gross gave him hope and encouragement, but it was too hard for him to detach from his ways. After a year, he finally got the courage to get on a plane and go back to Israel. His brother Shuki was waiting for Him at the airport. His parents cried all night. Their second son had returned home. The two brothers learned diligently in a Kollel in Holon. Shuki was already married, but Tzvika was having a hard time finding his significant other and so strong feelings were pulling at him to go back to America and his former wife. He went out with one girl, the second, the third, the fourth, but for whatever reason his heart was in the West. Four years of learning went by, but he had no luck as far as wife was concerned. The head of the Kollel who tried to understand him heard him saying, "Rabbi, I am not able to marry anybody. I am heartbroken". Another year passed until the Rabbi turned to him and said, "My friend, I have an interesting match for you. She is a convert who is learning in Jerusalem. Try going out with her".

Tzvika waited in the hotel lobby for his date while he was sitting and learning Path of the Just. At the appointed time, she entered the lobby modestly dressed. "I am Tzvi". "I am Sarah Malkah". The voice was very familiar to him and even the face. Hashem had brought them together again in a permissible way. They did not need a date. They just sat and thanked Hashem for bringing them back together. She told him all about what she had gone through and about her conversion process. Now he understood why he had to wait five years. With tears in his eyes and a trembling voice he said the words, "Behold you are consecrated unto me in accordance with the law of Mosheh and Israel".

With blessings of Torah

With blessings of Torah, Ron Barina

Rav Ron Barina is a 30 year veteran of the air-force. Since he retired, he has served as a consultant who travels from Israel to USA to also meet with USA air force representatives in the area of engineering/technology. He now dedicates most of his time to learning, teaching and spreading the sweet Torah. He learns with the Gaonim Rav Meir Mazuz Shlita, Rav Yaakov Edelstein, and Rav Avraham Yosef Shlita. He resides with his lovely wife and children in Ramat Hasharon.

"The preparation of the heart are man's, but the answer of the tongue is from Hashem" (Mishlei 16, 1)