Berina Yiktzoru · Chayei Sarah

A word from the editor

This Shabbat we are going to read: "Sarah's life time was 100 years and 20 years and 7 years; the years of Sarah's life". A question is asked on this Pasuk: Why does the Torah repeat at the end of the Pasuk "The years of Sarah's life" when it mentions this already in the beginning of the Pasuk? And Rashi answers, "They are all equally good". The Torah repeats "The years of Sarah's life" at the end of the Pasuk to teach us that Sarah had difficult periods in her life – she had no children until she was 90 years old; she saw her husband married to Hagar her maidservant and a son is born to Hagar; she needed to chase out Hagar and Yishmael, and before all of this, she went down to Egypt because of the famine where she was taken into the house of Paroah. Then she was taken to the house of Avimelech. With all of these difficult situations in her life, the Torah comes and testifies that in Sarah's eyes all the days of her life were equally good. This comes to show us that Sarah never complained. She accepted everything with complete faith and love and she believed that everything that Hashem does is good. We learn an important lesson from the phrase added at the end of the Pasuk "The years of Sarah's life". We learn from Sarah Imeinu (our matriarch) that we need to work on ourselves to try to see the events in our lifetime from a positive perspective – that everything is for the best.

Similarly, it is brought down in the Gemara (Brachot 60): Rebbi Akiva was traveling and he had a donkey to ride, a rooster who would wake him up at the first light of dawn, and a candle that would give him light at night. Towards evening, Rebbi Akiva reached a small village. He asked the people of the village for lodging, but every single one of the people refused to host him for the night and they asked him to leave. Rebbi Akiva accepted this with love and said, "Whatever Hashem does is for the good". He went into the forest near the village and that is where he decided to stay for the night. After he settled down, a cat suddenly appeared, attacked his rooster and killed it. Again Rebbi Akiva said, "Whatever Hashem does is for the good".

A little while later, a lion came along, attacked his donkey and killed it. Again he said, "Whatever Hashem does is for the good". Suddenly, strong winds started to blow and his candle got blown out. Rebbi Akiva was left without a donkey, without a rooster and without any light, and through all this, he accepted everything with faith and said, "Whatever Hashem does is for the good".

A little bit later, Rebbi Akiva could hear the sounds of bandits in the village. In the morning when he went to the village, Rebbi Akiva saw that bandits had come to the village, killed all the people there and set their houses on fire. Immediately, Rebbi Akiva thanked Hashem for saving him by not letting him stay overnight in the village. He also thanked Hashem for his donkey and rooster which were killed and his candle that had turned off the night before. Had the bandits heard his donkey or rooster or had they seen the light of his candle, they would have found him and killed him. In the merit of the "bad things" that happened to him the night before, he was saved. This teaches us that everything that happens to use in life is for the good even though at the moment that it happens to us it does not seem that way.

Our Sages say: Every day we have to say "When will my deeds reach (Yagioo) the greatness of the deeds of my forefathers". The commentators ask, "Become as good?" Is it possible that we can become like Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaakov, Sarah, Rivkah, Rahel and Leah? And they answer: "Yagioo?" – this comes from the word to put effort. If we put in tremendous effort, we can reach the greatness of their deeds to some extent.

Chayei Sarah – a summary of the points in the Parashah

1. The death of Sarah, the purchase of the cave of Machpela by Avraham Avinu (our patriarch) and the burial of Sarah (23, 1-20).

2 Avraham makes his servant Eliezer promise that he will not take a wife for Yitzchak from the girls of Cana'an, and that he will find him a girl from Avraham's family (24, 1-9).

3. The marriage of Yitzchak and Rivkah:

A. Eliezer arrives at Haran. He davens for the success of his mission, and Hashem hears his prayer and brings him Rivkah to the well of water (24, 1:2).

B. The servant tells Rivkah's family about the birth of Yitzchak. He tells them about what happened to him (that Rivkah fed him and his camels water) and that he has come to take Rivkah for a wife for Yitzzchak (24, 29-49).

C. Rivkah agrees to marry Yitzchak and goes with Eliezer to Yitzchak (24, 50-67).

4. The list of the descendants of Avraham from Hagar (25, 1-6).

5. The death of Avraham Avinu and his burial in the cave of Machpela (25, 7-11).

6. The children of Yishmael (25, 12-18).

"The cave of the field of Machpela… this is Hevron" (23, 19)

A lot of people are mistaken about the order of how our Avot (patriarchs) and Imahot (matriarchs) are buried in the cave of the Machpelah. The Ben Ish Hai brings down that this is the order they are buried in:

Adam · Havah · Sarah · Avraham

Yitzchak · Rivkah · Leah · Yaakov

The Holy Arizal writes – the Avot all lived in Hevron. Avraham Avinu went to Beer Sheva, but most of his days were spent in Hevron. Yitzchak Avinu lived in Hevron. Yaakov Avinu was in Hevron, went down to Haran and returned to Hevron.

In Parashat Vayishlah it is written (35, 27): "And Yaakov came to Yitzchak his father at Mamre, Kiryat Arba, this is Hevron, where Avraham and Yitzchak lived".

From some reason Avraham went from Haran to Beer Sheva, and after Sarah passed away, he returned to Hevron. Most of the time that Avraham lived in Eretz Yisrael, he lived in Hevron. Why.… did e❖veryo.n…e l.i…ve in ❖Hevro.n…? .I…sn't Y❖erush.…al ayim, which is the holiest city where the holy Beit HaMikdash was built, higher than Hevron. What is there in Hevron? The holy Arizal says something amazing: The Avot came to fix the sin of Adam HaRishon. Adam HaRishon was punished with death and because of him, Hashem decreed death on all of mankind. Adam caused death for everyone by accidental sin and therefore, he is judged with being an accidental murderer. The patriarchs had to come and fix this issue. In the Torah it is written that there were 3 cities of refuge in Eretz Yisrael and 3 cities of refuge on the other side of the Jordan. Any time that the 3 cities of refuge in Eretz Yisrael did not take people, the cities on the other side of the Jordan did not take people either. The 3 cities of refuge in Eretz Yisrael were: Kadesh, which is in the Galil on the mountain of Efraim; Shechem, which is on the mountain of Efraim and Kiryat Arba which is Hevron in the mountains of Yehudah. Since Hevron is a city of refuge, the Avot were meant to live there in order to fix the spiritual blemish of Adam Harishon's causing death to be brought into the world. Since he killed accidentally, the way to fix this spiritual blemish was for the Avot to go into exile to a city of refuge, Hevron.

For this reason, Yosef was buried in Shechem because he completed the job of the Avot which was to fix the spiritual blemish of Adam HaRishon. This is the reason Shechem was paid for in full, because it was a city of refuge.

"The field I gave to you and the cave that is in it I gave it to you"

Efron HaChiti tells Avraham Avinu: "The cave is yours from the beginning of time and it is impossible to change this fact". It is told that the wise people of the gentile nations came with a claim to the Rambam that it is possible to teach manners to animals and that one can change animals' nature so that they can behave like humans. The Rambam told them that this is not possible. These "wise people" wanted to prove their claim so they decided that they were going to teach a cat how to have manners and at at an appointed day, they would show everyone what they had accomplished.

When the appointed day arrived, everyone in the city gathered to see the cat they had trained. Everyone settled down quietly and waited to see what would happen. The cat entered the room acting as a waiter. He set out a few tables, put tablecloths on them and then he went to bring cups and wine. When he came back with a tray of wine and cups, everyone was astonished by what he was doing and they felt that the "wise people" were correct. At that moment, the Rambam took out a small box from his pocket and opened it and a mouse came out. When the cat saw the mouse, he immediately through the tray on the floor, breaking the cups and spilling the wine. He began chasing the mouse to catch it. Everyone admitted that the Rambam was right; even if you can teach animals certain things, you will never be able to change their nature.

A match made in heaven – "And take a wife for my son, for Yitzchak" (24, 4)

There was a Yeshivah student who was having a hard time finding a match because of a facial scar. He went to Rav Chaim Kanievesky Shlita to get a blessing. He poured out his heart to Rav Kanievsky and told him that the only reason he has this scar is because of a Chesed (an act of loving- kindness) he did for another Jew. Now the scar is causing him to have a hard time finding a wife while his other friends are already married. Rav Kanievsky listened to his story and then he answered him, "On the next date you have with a girl, tell her and her family why you have this scar. Don’t hide the reason you have this scar from anyone anymore." A few days passed and this boy received a call from a matchmaker who had a possible match for him. The boy agreed to the match; his first date would be in a couple of days. The day of the date arrived and the boy followed what Rav Kanievesky had told him. He told the girl about his scar, "When I was a little boy, I saw an Arab running after this religious family in the streets of Jerusalem. I tried to help save them from this terrorist. With Hashem's help, I was able to save them, but the Arab started to beat me up and he cut me on my face. To my utter happiness, the family was able to escape and I was left with a scar on my face from this Arab." The girl was shocked at what she was hearing and she told the boy in a choked up voice, "I am the daughter of that family. I remember the story very well and the miracle that happened to us because of a boy who came to save us from the terrorist". Of course, a few days later, the two families celebrated an engagment. When Rav Chaim Kanievesky heard about the details of this match, he turned to his household and said, "Everything is from Heaven".

"Sarah's lifetime was 100 years and 20 years and 7 years; the years of Sarah's life" (23, 1)

"The years of Sarah's lifetime – they are equally good (Rashi)". Rebbi Zusha of Anipoli, the brother of Rav Elimelech of Lizhensk asks, "How can we say that all the days of Sarah were equally good? We see that she had no children until she was 90 years old? Did she have a good life? No! Hagar already had Yishmael and the story of Paroah and Elimelech did not add to her peace of mind, so how does Rashi say that "All her days were equally good?" And Rav Zusha answers, "All her days were equaly good – in every situation, she would say, "This is also for the good". Everything was equally good – even when she had hardships in life, even when she was still barren, even when she suffered from Avimelech and Paroah – everything was equally good – "Whatever Hashem does is for the good." She always said, "It is good for me." She wanted children, but she never came with complaints to Hashem. What happens when we are in a tough situation? We have a little stumbling block in life, a little upheavel that comes around and then our friends ask us, "Why do you have such a sour face? And we answer, "I am not in a good mood." We have a little bit of hardship and it wipes away our happiness. We walk around with this sadness which is forbidden.

There is a story about a Jew who comes to the Maggid of Mezeritch Zya'a (may his merit protect us), the Rebbi of Rav Zusha of Anipoli. He asks the Maggid, "How is it possible to bless Hashem for the bad just as we bless Hashem for the good?" The Maggid answers, "I will not give you an answer. Go to the city of Anipoli and there you will find a Jew by the name of Rav Zusha. Ask him the question you have." This man arrives in Anipoli and he searches and he searches until he finds Rav Zusha. He sees that he is living in a dilapidated house that is empty from poverty. He asks him, "How can one bless Hashem for the bad just as he blesses Hashem for the good?" Rav Zusha replies, "Wait a minute. Maybe there is another Rav Zusha in Anipoli. I cannot answer you. I think you came to the wrong address." The man asks him, "Why are you not the person to ask?" Rav Zusha replies, "To tell you the truth, how can I answer you? I never had a bad time in my life!" This man hears this and he returns to the Maggid of Mezeritch and he tells the Maggid, "It is a mistake. Rav Zusha said he is not the person to ask." He didn't answer you?" the Maggid asks him. "So what did he tell you?" The man answered him, "He said that he cannot answer because he never had any bad things happen in his life."

The Maggid of Mezeritch tells this Jew, "Fool! What did you ask him? You asked him how can one bless Hashem for the bad just like one blesses Hashem for the good. What did he answer you? "I cannot answer you because I never had any bad in my life". This is the answer. He always blessed Hashem for everything that happened no matter what it was. Everything was equally good. No hard situation would cause him to have a bad mood because in every situation, he would say, "This is also for the good". Our Sages come and tell us, "We have to bless Hashem for the bad just like we bless Hashem for the good" – this comes to teach us to thank Hashem for every situation, whether good or bad, and we have to remember that the source of good is Hashem who always wants the best for us.

Between Man and his Fellow – a Shabbat Story

It was a cold wintry afternoon in the house of Rav Chaim Palaji. The Rav had just returned home from the Beit Din (Jewish court) and his coat was drenched from the rain. "It is cold outside, very cold", he said and he began to cough. "If so, it is good that I prepared a hot soup for such a cold day, it is the perfect medicine for you," his wife answered. The Rav went to wash his hands for bread, he made the blessing on the bread. Before he had a chance to start eating his soup, there was a knock at the door. His wife opened the door. Before her stood one of the old ladies of the city. "Is the Rav home?" she asked. "Yes", the Rabanit replied, "but he is eating right now. Can you come back in an hour or two"? "Of course I can", she answered and she turned and started to head back home in the pouring rain. The Rabanit watched her walking away and she thought to herself, "I did the right thing. If I would have told the Rav that there is an old lady here to see him, he would have gotten up to see what she needs and then he would once again have to sit down to eat cold soup. He is already sick and weak and he needs the warm soup to heal him. The health of the city's Rabbi is very important; if he is not healthy, how will he be able to help anybody. And the lady even said that her matter could wait". With these thoughts, she returned to the dining room.

"Who was at the door"? the Rav asked. "One of the old ladies of the city", she replied. "And what did she want, he went on to ask. "She wanted to talk to you", she answered. When the Rav heard this, he immediately got up and went to the door. "Don't get up"! She already left", she called after him. "She will return in an hour or two." He turned to her and said, "A woman wanted to ask me a question and you sent her away"? "She herself said it was not important," she answered, but Rav Haim did not listen and he got ready to go out and find the woman.

He washed his hands for Mayim Achronim, said Birkat HaMazon, (the grace after meals) and put on his coat which was still dripping wet from before. He put on his hat and told his helper, "Come let's go to the woman's house". "But it is cold and rainy outside", the helper tried to dissuade him, "and the Rav has a cold". "There is no choice! We have to go immediately," the Rav replied, and he left the house.

They were greeted outside by strong winds. The Rav began walking quickly. They walked for an hour in the cold empty streets. Finally, they arrived at this woman's house and Rav Haim knocked on her door. They heard heavy footsteps coming towards them and the door opened. "Rebbi"! The lady shouted when she saw who was standing at her door. "Why did the Rav trouble himself to come to me on such a rainy day. I was going to come to you in an hour".

"Please forgive me. They sent you away from my house without my knowing. If I knew you were at my door, I would have come to talk to you," he answered. The woman who was still shocked by what she saw, started to mumble, "Yes, for sure I forgive, but the Rav did not have to trouble himself to come to my house".

In her warm house, the Rabanit was sitting in her house looking out the window waiting for her husband to return. The strong winds that were blowing and the heavy rain that was falling was eating away at her conscience.

The Rabanit still didn't understad what was wrong with what she did, but thinking about her sick husband walking outside in such weather gave her no peace.Finally, she saw her husband and his helper returning.

The Rabanit ran to greet them at the door. Only after the Rav took off his wet clothes and sat down by the heater \with a hot cup of tea did she manage to ask him, "Why were you so upset that I sent this lady away. Your throat was hurting and you just sat down to have a hot bowl of soup and the woman even said that her matter was not urgent".

"I will tell you a story that anybody who hears it will tremble all over", he replied. In Mechilta, Parashat Mishpatim, chapter 18, it is written: "Rebbi Shimon and Rebbi Yishmael were one of the ten martyrs who were killed. When they were being taken out to be killed, Rebbi Shimon turned to Rebbi Yishmael and said, "I keep looking at all my deeds and I do not know for what sin I am being killed". Rebbi Yishmael turned to Rebbi Shimon and said, "Maybe it happened that one time someone came to your house to ask a question and you made them wait until you finished drinking or tying your shoes or putting on your Talit? Is it not written in the Torah, "If you cause pain to another" – for a big or small anguish that you cause another person, you will have to give judgment, even if it is a tiny delay". Rebbi Shimon answered, "You have consoled me". And now, Rebbi Haim turned to his wife, "Do you understand why I was so upset? I would rather eat cold food my whole life rather than cause Hashem to sit in judgment because of my causing another person anguish".

A word of blessing

Peace is healing. When your world is falling part, strengthen your knowledge of the Creator of the world. This will create inner peace. When the world outside is falling apart, arouse yourself to search for the truth. This will bring peace to all the worlds.

With blessings of Torah, Ron Barina

Rav Ron Barina is a 30 year veteran of the air-force. Since he retired, he has served as a consultant who travels from Israel to USA to also meet with USA air force representatives in the area of engineering/technology. He now dedicates most of his time to learning, teaching and spreading the sweet Torah. He learns with the Gaonim Rav Meir Mazuz Shlita, Rav Yaakov Edelstein, and Rav Avraham Yosef Shlita. He resides with his lovely wife and children in Ramat Hasharon.

"The preparation of the heart are man's, but the answer of the tongue is from Hashem" (Mishlei 16, 1)