When does shiva start – from death or burial?

Before burial

From the death until the burial the close relatives are onenim: their task is to arrange the funeral, and they are exempt from many commandments. Mourning in the full sense begins when the grave is filled.

Counting the seven days

The Shulchan Aruch rules that mourning begins once the grave is closed. Part of the first day counts as a full day, and on the seventh morning, after the mourners are comforted, they get up – “part of the day is like the whole”. Joseph mourned his father “seven days” (Genesis 50:10).

Who sits shiva

Seven relatives: father, mother, son, daughter, brother, sister and spouse. They sit low, do not work, do not bathe for pleasure, and are visited by friends who comfort them with “HaMakom yenachem” – may God comfort you among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.

Shabbat and festivals

Shabbat counts as one of the seven days, but public mourning is not shown. A major festival (Pesach, Shavuot, Sukkot, Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur) ends shiva if it was already begun. Ask your rabbi for the details.

If the news arrives late

A relative who hears of the death within thirty days sits the full seven days from when he hears; one who hears after thirty days observes only one hour of mourning.