What happens at a Jewish wedding?
Life eventsPending rabbinic review
Short answer
A Jewish wedding has two stages under the chuppah, a canopy: kiddushin, when the groom gives the bride a ring before two witnesses, and nissuin, with seven blessings over wine. The ketubah, the marriage contract, is read aloud; the groom breaks a glass in memory of Jerusalem, and celebration with music and dancing follows.
Before the ceremony
Many couples fast on the wedding day until the ceremony, which is like a personal Yom Kippur. At the kabbalat panim the groom signs the ketubah before two witnesses; at the bedeken the groom covers the bride’s face with her veil, recalling Rebecca (Genesis 24:65). Ashkenazim do not see each other for a week before; Sephardim usually skip the bedeken.
Under the chuppah
The chuppah represents the couple’s new home. In Ashkenazi weddings the bride circles the groom seven times. The rabbi says the betrothal blessing over a cup of wine; the groom places a plain ring on the bride’s right index finger and says, “Behold, you are consecrated to me with this ring according to the law of Moses and Israel.” The ketubah – which sets out the husband’s obligations to his wife – is read and handed to the bride. Then seven blessings (sheva brachot) are recited over a second cup, praising God for creation, for humanity and for the joy of bride and groom.
Breaking the glass
The Talmud tells of sages who broke an expensive glass at a wedding to temper excessive levity. The custom connects with the verse “If I forget you, O Jerusalem… if I do not set Jerusalem above my highest joy” (Psalms 137:5–6). Guests shout “Mazel tov!”
Afterwards
The couple spend a few minutes alone (yichud). A festive meal and dancing follow – it is a mitzvah to bring joy to bride and groom – and grace after meals ends with the seven blessings again. For a week, festive meals with the seven blessings are held in the couple’s honour.
Sephardi and Ashkenazi practice
| Sephardim | Ashkenazim |
|---|---|
| There is usually no bedeken or circling, and in many communities a tallit is spread over the couple under the chuppah. | The chuppah is ideally under the open sky; the bride circles the groom seven times after the bedeken veiling. |
Sources
In the Torah
אִם־אֶשְׁכָּחֵךְ יְרוּשָׁלִָם תִּשְׁכַּח יְמִינִי תִּדְבַּק־לְשׁוֹנִי לְחִכִּי אִם־לֹא אֶזְכְּרֵכִי אִם־לֹא אַעֲלֶה אֶת־יְרוּשָׁלִַם עַל רֹאשׁ שִׂמְחָתִי
Talmud and halacha
Also asked as
- Why does the groom break a glass?
- What is a chuppah?
- What is a ketubah?