Those who lost a father, mother, spouse, son, daughter, brother or sister.

When does shiva start and end?

It starts after the burial and ends on the morning of the seventh day; Shabbat counts but without public mourning. A festival can cut it short – ask a rabbi.

What should I bring or say when visiting?

Your presence matters most. Listen, speak about the deceased if the mourner wishes, and say the traditional words of comfort on leaving. Food for the family is customary.

Why are mirrors covered?

It is a custom with several explanations, such as turning attention away from oneself during mourning.

Sitting shiva – the seven days of mourning שִׁבְעָה

Shiva (“seven”) is the first week of mourning for a close relative – a parent, spouse, child or sibling. It begins after the burial; the mourners stay at home, sit low, and are visited and comforted by family, friends and the community.

The source

Joseph “made a mourning for his father seven days” (Genesis 50:10). The Talmud also learns the seven days from Amos: “I will turn your feasts into mourning” (Amos 8:10), as festivals last seven days (Moed Katan 20a). The laws are discussed in tractate Moed Katan and codified in the Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh De'ah 375–403.

What mourners do

Sit on low chairs or on the floor, wear the garment torn at the funeral (kriah).
Do not work, bathe for pleasure, wear leather shoes, cut hair or shave, or study Torah except sad subjects.
Prayers are held at home with a minyan, and the mourners say Kaddish.
Customs: a memorial candle burns all week, and mirrors are often covered.
On Shabbat there is no public mourning; shiva ends on the morning of the seventh day.

Visiting a shiva house

Visitors usually wait for the mourner to speak first and follow his or her lead. On leaving, Ashkenazim say “HaMakom yenachem etchem betoch she’ar avelei Tziyon viYerushalayim” – may God comfort you among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem; many Sephardim say “Min hashamayim tenuchamu” – may you be comforted from Heaven.

Sources

וַיָּבֹאוּ עַד־גֹּרֶן הָאָטָד אֲשֶׁר בְּעֵבֶר הַיַּרְדֵּן וַיִּסְפְּדוּ־שָׁם מִסְפֵּד גָּדוֹל וְכָבֵד מְאֹד וַיַּעַשׂ לְאָבִיו אֵבֶל שִׁבְעַת יָמִים
Genesis 50:10
וְהָפַכְתִּי חַגֵּיכֶם לְאֵבֶל וְכָל־שִׁירֵיכֶם לְקִינָה וְהַעֲלֵיתִי עַל־כָּל־מָתְנַיִם שָׂק וְעַל־כָּל־רֹאשׁ קָרְחָה וְשַׂמְתִּיהָ כְּאֵבֶל יָחִיד וְאַחֲרִיתָהּ כְּיוֹם מָר
Amos 8:10

Talmud and halachic sources

Talmud, Moed Katan 15a–27b
Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh De'ah 375–403

Frequently asked questions

Who sits shiva?: Those who lost a father, mother, spouse, son, daughter, brother or sister.
When does shiva start and end?: It starts after the burial and ends on the morning of the seventh day; Shabbat counts but without public mourning. A festival can cut it short – ask a rabbi.
What should I bring or say when visiting?: Your presence matters most. Listen, speak about the deceased if the mourner wishes, and say the traditional words of comfort on leaving. Food for the family is customary.
Why are mirrors covered?: It is a custom with several explanations, such as turning attention away from oneself during mourning.