What do you say on Yom Kippur? Is “Happy Yom Kippur” OK?

The meaning of the day

Yom Kippur is the Day of Atonement: “On this day atonement shall be made for you to purify you of all your sins” (Leviticus 16:30). It is spent in fasting – no food or drink for about 25 hours – and prayer. It is serious but not sad: the Mishnah calls it one of the happiest days of the year, because it brings forgiveness.

The greetings

Since Rosh Hashanah, people wish each other to be “written” for a good year. The Rema records the custom of saying on Rosh Hashanah “May you be written for a good year”. By Yom Kippur the judgement is “sealed”, so the wish becomes G’mar chatimah tovah (Ashkenazi) or Chatimah tovah. “Tzom kal” or “Have a meaningful fast” are also common. Sephardim often say “Tizku leshanim rabot” – “may you merit many years”.

“Happy Yom Kippur”

Non-Jewish friends sometimes say it with good intentions, and no Jew will be offended. But the better phrase is “Have an easy fast” or simply “G’mar chatimah tovah”.

Before and after the fast

On the afternoon before Yom Kippur it is customary to ask forgiveness from family, friends and colleagues: Yom Kippur atones for sins between a person and God, but sins against another person are forgiven only after asking that person (Mishnah Yoma 8:9). After the fast people greet each other with “Shanah tovah” or wish a quick “Chag sameach” for the coming Sukkot.

In the prayers

The confession (Vidui) – Ashamnu, Al Chet – is said in each service, in the plural: “we have sinned”. The thirteen attributes of mercy and the Avinu Malkeinu prayer are central.